Malay Wedding.

As the Malays are mostly Muslim, the wedding ceremony will be performed according to the Islamic principles with a blend of local Malay customs. The traditional Malay wedding is usually conducted in two parts: the first one is called the akad nikah (marriage contract) and the other one is called the bersanding (enthronement). Akad nikah is the moment when the wedding is being legalized in a religious manner, while bersanding is a family celebration. While the akad nikah session is done in a very low-profile manner (it’s usually done at a mosque), the bersanding session might be elaborately celebrated and cherished. Here are the different stages prior to a Malay wedding:

Stage 1: The Adat Merisik or getting to know you better

The adat merisik is the ‘seeking ceremony’ or ‘spying custom’. This traditional Malay system is crucial for arranging marriages. When a young man is finally ready to settle down with the girl of his dream (or in some cases his parents will find a suitable potential bride for him), his family will carry out the responsibility of seeking out information about that particular woman. During this stage, one or more wakil (representatives) from the man’s family will pay a visit to the woman’s family. The merisik is not considered a formal proposal, and there may or may not be further arrangement of marriage. It all depends on both sides of the family.

Stage 2: The Adat Bertunang or the engagement between lovebirds

When a marriage plan is being agreed by both parties, an engagement date will be set. The engagement custom is usually held at the bride’s home. The adat bertunang is being done as a symbol that the future groom and bride have already been reserved. Although permissible, calling off an engagement is kind of frowned upon in the Malay Muslim community.

Stage 3: The Akad Nikah     

Akad nikah is usually conducted at a mosque. Meanwhile, the groom will sign the marriage contract and provide his bride with a mas kahwin (some kind of a payment in the form of money, gold or any other thing as requested)

Stage 4: The Bersanding ceremony

Bersanding is the actual wedding day. It can be celebrated in a traditional way or modern way